Nuclear Delight • I See Watt You Mean

Every morning I start my day by discharging the electricity my body has accumulated by touching some metallic object. That is not an over-exaggeration; I actually start every morning this way.

This phenomenon isn't particularly mysterious to me--I have a hunch that I become charged throughout the night because of one of the blankets I use. On its own, it is an incredibly static-y blanket. When I got it a few years ago, I named it the Thunderdome Blanket. Despite this, it has very little in common with the actual Thunderdome, I guess except for the fact that if two men were to enter, I might prefer for one of them to leave. Aside from the notably larger zaps I receive throughout the day because of it, its static-y nature is one of the reasons why I love the blanket. I like the feeling of the numerous smaller zaps while I'm getting cozy, I guess.

It doesn't end there, though. More often than not, I accumulate enough static electricity throughout the day to keep getting zapped. I don't know if it's my clothes, or the atmosphere in my room, or what the heck is going on, but it'd be nice to get a day off from this electric nightmare. Or at the very least some super powers.